Ka-Pow DAY! :D

yes im lame, and for those who did not get it, its boxing day! get it?? but anyway this Christmas I decided to stay back in Sydney and experience how Christmas would be like here, its quiet, veryyyyy quiet. maybe i need more friends or something cos house parties dont seem to be very popular here. however i did get many gifts, mostly from one person ( the boyfriend) but i appreciate each and every one of my gifts as well as spending so much time with the family this festive holiday. as different as it is i enjoyed every moment of it. :)

and omg boxing day in the city today was chaos from the start til the end, i started at 10am which is pretty late considering the fact that most shoppers end at 10am and start at 6-7am. but i was still walking around and shopping till 5ish before i was way to hungry to go on. and worse bit wa si didnt even get to hit George street!!!! :( but i was too broke after anyway so kudos to hayby and Zen for making it that far with me in my mad shopping adventure today. :D and all the great buys and random pressies from Zen. :) really sweet but random as well. shall end this post as im way to tired and i still need to clean my room before my parents arrive tomorrow at 12pm!!!! gahhh.. so much to do. nights peeps and i hope u had an awesome festive season as i did. <3

yes go on hating but i really like this song. :)

"Mistletoe"

It’s the most beautiful time of the year

Lights fill the streets spreading so much cheer

I should be playing in the winter snow

But I'mma be under the mistletoe

I don’t wanna miss out on the holiday

But I can’t stop staring at your face

I should be playing in the winter snow

But I’mma be under the mistletoe

With you, shawty with you

With you, shawty with you

With you under the mistletoe

Everyone's gathering around the fire

Chestnuts roasting like a hot July

I should be chilling with my folks, I know

But I’mma be under the mistletoe

Word on the street Santa's coming tonight,

Reindeer's flying through the sky so high

I should be making a list, I know

But I’mma be under the mistletoe

With you, shawty with you

With you, shawty with you

With you under the mistletoe

With you, shawty with you

With you, shawty with you

With you under the mistletoe

Aye, love, the wise men followed the star

The way I followed my heart

And it led me to a miracle

Aye, love, don't you buy me nothing

'cause I am feeling one thing, your lips on my lips

That’s a merry, merry Christmas

It’s the most beautiful time of the year

Lights fill the streets spreading so much cheer

I should be playing in the winter snow

But I’mma be under the mistletoe

I don’t wanna miss out on the holiday

But I can’t stop staring at your face

I should be playing in the winter snow

But I’mma be under the mistletoe

With you, shawty with you

With you, shawty with you

With you under the mistletoe

With you, shawty with you

With you, shawty with you

With you, under the mistletoe, under the mistletoe

Kiss me underneath the mistletoe

Show me baby that you love me so-oh-oh

Oh, oh, ohhh

Kiss me underneath the mistletoe,

Show me baby that you love me so-oh-oh

Oh, oh, ohhh

so who do u wanna spend your Christmas with?

Merry Christmas y'all.

your eyes speak to me, they tell be calm.. be strong.

so u should put up a new post since u have so much time on your hands, just saying. :) n yes u know who u are. ;)

my post for today would be on a self conscious comment that a 'friend' of mine mentioned to me today after i failed to do a proper push up and when he saw my muffin top. its been ages since I've been that self-conscious so it was quite a surprise on how insecure I can get about my body, but then again who doesn't.

maybe its cos i don't go to the gym and work out my abs, triceps and whatever muscle there is on our body but yes i do get self conscious about my figure and i think that it sucks to feel crap about yourself as much as we like to think we have an average good body, i think deep down we all get very self conscious about how we look due to the fact that we don't have perfect bodies ( unless you're Jessica Alba or Megan Fox. ) but yes, as much as i feel crappy i guess we have to admit we ain't perfect but then again normal people aren't pefect. PERFECTION IS OVERRATED anyway. like honestly as if Megan Fox would constantly look that amazing on transformers if it wasn't for makeup and airbrushing. like seriously,its close to impossible to look that amazing in sweat and running for your life from mechanical aliens trying to take over the world.

but all in all, i just wanna say its okay to be insecure about yourself, cos who isn't? and yes we don't want to walk around looking perfect cos that will be boring just like the movie surrogate

but in real life instead. so yes i'm not a size 4, nor am I fat free and yes i do have a muffin top and humble boobs that don't make you stare at my chest when you talk to me, but I am very much unique and normal as can be, so yes i should be happy for exactly the way I am. and if I'm not happy, it doesn't hurt to join the gym but only if you feel comfortable doing so. :)

so this one is about u!

querido sergio.....

after being MIA for months I'm back with just 1 post for now, this is dedicated to the one that strayed and found his way back when everything changed.

A while ago, u had me to the point of doing anything for u. while I ignorantly believed that u knew me better than anyone else at that time, back then u let me down. I learned a valuable lesson from those 3 months, so thank u for that no I'm not being sarcastic, like honestly thank u! I've build my walls up and they don't fall for anyone except the few that I let in, but somehow even as time pass, questions unanswered still haunt me.

it was good catching up with u last night/morning. i haven't spoke to anyone for the entire night in ages.. but it also brought back a lot of memories that i thought i have kept safely tucked away. u were always a charmer, and just when i thought i was immune to your charming words and corny ways, a part of me liked it. which makes feel me terrible as to our situation does nothing to improve the lust and emotional pleasure that we once indulged in and continue to secretly enjoy..

only time will unravel our future, if we crossroads again let us learn not to waste the moments as we did before. i wish u all the best and u know that u can always come to me. :) ;3

ghost in the machine-B.o.B

Tell me where am I supposed to go?
And who am I supposed to believe.
If only you knew what I knew.
Then you could see just what I see.

[Chorus:]
So I grab my bags and go, as far away as I can go.
Cause everything ain't what I used to know.
And I try to hide, but I just can't hide no more.
There's nothing worse than feeling like a ghost.

You say I look fine, if only you knew what's on my mind.
You'd see a whole different sign, I couldn't show you even if I tried.
I must have got lost in time when I found out I was only free to be, where ever I want to be.

Some say I'm out of sight, how I run and that we're all so blind.
If you could open up your eyes, you could see what I couldn't describe.
And then, you'd see the signs, and then your soul would be set free, and then you'd be released.

[Chorus:]
So I grab my bags and go, as far away as I can go.
Cause everything ain't what I used to know.
And I try to hide, but I just can't hide no more.
There's nothing worse than feeling like a ghost.

Tell me where am I supposed to go.
And who am I supposed to believe.
If only you knew what I knew.
Then you could see. (Hey)

[Chorus:]
So I grab my bags and go, as far away as I can go.
Cause everything ain't what I used to know.
And I try to hide, but I just can't hide no more.
There's nothing worse than feeling like a ghost.

And I'm terrified, like I've seen a UFO.
Cause everything ain't what I used to know.
And I try to hide, but I just can't hide no more.
There's nothing worse than feeling like a ghost.

(I go)
(A UFO)
(And I'm so tired of hiding, I've been running, I've been trying, to get away, to get away)

So I grab my bags and go, as far away as I can go.
Cause everything ain't what I used to know.
And I try to hide, but I just can't hide no more.
There's nothing worse than feeling like a ghost.

California king bed

i miss how u pull ur faces

us summarized.

thank u

ur the boy i never thought i'll fall for. the one who i never thought i'll spend 10 months with cos we were just so different. but u changed me n i'll never be the same without u. how thing ended was my fault n i did u wrong but im glad that u were in my life. i loved u, n sometimes wonder n think to myself.. i think i still do but not the same way as before. i knew u so much better after. what's said and done cannot be changed. im sorry for everything esp d hurt i have caused u that has pushed u to go back into some of ur old habits. i hope u dun fall back into the same patterns.

if i had a wish i would wish that i could take away the pain n make that mine, to undo the hurt n grieft i caused u but i cant, n sorry doesnt cut it but it has been the best i can do. we cant be together but i do appreciate every moment we had together.

valentine's

so we all know the day valentine's day day where rosses n chocolate's prices hijack up the roof. yes, a single rose will costs u like $15 instead of whatever it usually costs. however, most of us dont really know the story behind such a romantic day. to think that valentine's day was celebrating d day that a priest was beheaded is probably far to none in our minds, but yet its true.

Valetine's day started when a priest or bishop by the name of Saint valentine's secretly went against the Roman Emperor then named Claudius's ban of marriage. you see, according to Claudius, the roman empire was getting larger n larger, thus requiring more capable n strong men to become soldiers. he viewed that when soldeirs got married, they became attached and thus will not become good soldiers. hence he issued a law the banned all marriage to assure that the empire will have quality soldiers.

however, Saint Valentine's did not agree with this ban, n secretly performed marriages. soon after the emperor found out about Valentine's doing, n beheaded him for going agaisnt his law. before he died he wrote a letter to a dear friend, signing off as From Your Valentine, which has stuck to this very day.

so while's you celebrate Valentine's day, its was d work of a priest that never gave up on love. :)

so how did you celebrate your Valentine's?

this was mine.

BOXing day!

volunteering in teh orphanage was pretty hectic, esp during meal times. but in d end of the day it was worth all teh sweat to see those smiles on these kids's faces. :) it feels good giving back to the community. giving these kids a festive meal to remember. staying up to watch soccer tonight, supposrt of course my fav soccer team, MANCHESTER UNITED! :D against Chelsea! cant wait to see M.U kick ass! woo.. off now. merry 2nd day of xmas/ Boxing day peeps! :)

on another note,

finally read ur blog earlier, it was all good til i came upon

'Like when i was trying to figure out how to end my relationship,
It took so long i almost went crazy in the process'

and thats when i realised it actually hurt to read that. that i've been such a fool to think that u felt d same as i did for u once upon a time. it shouldnt hurt, it shouldnt affect me now, after all this time, but it does n i dont know why. i dont wanna know the reason cos that would force me to face the truth that i've been denying.

i rather leave it, i was better off not knowing that i was a fool to believe that u could actually come anywhere close to how i felt for u.

one more hour til i turn 19. :)

i feel old all of a sudden, but then who doesnt on every birthday. looking at my sisters graduation pictures just reminds how quickly 2 years hav went went by n i was just like that 2 yrs ago.

looking at the transition form then to now, im surprised at how far i've come. never thought i'll be here today at where i am, thousands of miles away from home, enjoying life in a different land. as i look back at my friends from high school in different paths. i remember all the dreams n predictions we had. how i always wanted to be like my friends, to hang til late at nite n go out whenever i want. looking back then, i wasnt matured enough to handle that kind of freedom to start with. n i appreciate that i din go wild n rebel against what i wanted cos from all the predictions n dreams, mine was d only one that came true.

i never regreted all that i wnet thru,as i take it as experiences that contributed to my growth. who i am today, is someone i never thought i could be 2 yrs ago. i owe heaps to my friends that change me for d better. :) but i stil hav so much more to learn n grow. no matter how old i get, i can always improve to be a better person. thats something i truly believe in.

i guess i better study now, only a week be4 my finals start. *gasp* panic mode hits me now.

xoxo,grace

Torn

Decisions... Trust.... N conscience. Factors that play around my mind to make up my mind. My obedient self is saying no but my fun loving heart says no one has to Noe. I'm torn between wats right n wat I want. Decision... Decisions.... Decisions. We face them everyday with the choices we make affecting our tomorrows in one way or another. I hope I'll make the right one in d end.

wish upon a star

'star shine, star bright, make my wish come true tonight.'

a prayer i used to wished on every night when i was a little girl.

and even when i knew that wishes on a star doesn't come true, i kept wishing anyway.

Thinking faith would keep my wish alive.

it was a way of directing my fantasy of a perfect world in my head... to find hope and peace in a world that fails to provide such security to every individual.

Stars were always my favourite sign.

of course when i was 5 i didn't know that each star was a flaming planets millions and billions light years away.

i always though it was a beautiful natural phenomenal that complemented the moon.

While everyone admired on how lovely the full moon looked,

I would be paying attention to the stars n

thinking to myself ' look at how pretty the stars make the moon shine'

insecurities.

i sometimes dream and wonder if u'll ever love me like u loved her.

this is me with insecurities bursting out a thought.

i know i shouldnt be thinking bout it, cos ur with me now.

but i still see past picstures of how happy u 2 looked.

i know i have plenty of my own but why do i feel like i'll never be as good.

that u'll never feel the connection u had,

i keep thinking maybe we finally had this connection or was it just me?

u gave me one of d best sleepovers i ever had,

just talking n cuddling u made me happy.

i honestly feel like maybe there is a something more to this.

but whenever i have confidence in us,

insecurities kicks in.

leaving me wondering if there was anything more than a spark in d 1st place.

fader-the temper trap

I'm in transit
But I'm stranded on this boat
And I pledge myself allegiance
To a better night's sleep at home

And the sweet, sweet sun's comin' down
Hard, the sun's comin' down
Hard, it burns the bones
So hold a hand for cover
Hold a hand for cover
Hold a hand for cover from harm

Talk don't change a thing
Oh, it's fadin' for ya
Words don't sink, they swims
Oh, it's fadin' for ya

Best
This mess we tried our best
For something we can do
While the angels walk with the lonely ones
In the cold rain and rescue you

And this fatal world's comin' down
Hard, walls comin' down
Hard, in all our homes
So hold a hand for cover
Hold a hand for cover
Hold a hand for cover from harm

Talk don't change a thing
Oh, it's fadin' for ya
Words don't sink, they swims
Oh, it's fadin' for ya


Talk don't change a thing
Oh, it's fadin' for ya
[I'm in transit]
Words don't sink, they swims
[Ah, sweet as a moment, be that it may]
Oh, it's fadin' for ya

talk dont change a thing..

ever had?

just got home from d city, damn trains. i got lost at central twice just getting there n back. central needs CLEARER signs! no kidding. wasted at least 2 hrs trying to get back to west ryde station. n i was traveling alone with no sense of direction. :( but at least im home now. :)

lots of love n hugs,

graceee.... :)

its so easy to say im alrite, to plaster on a smile n moveon with life. but no one knows wats beyond the smile, the 'im okay's' n 'im fine'. just because i look fine on d outside doesnt mean that every day im facing doesnt hurt. i hav my own battles, everyone does, mine's just burried deep down, like way down as it always has been.

im happy with life dun get me wrong, im not all depress n shit, just letting out sum expression to ease d frustration. sometimes we should take time to look past one's smile n not just ask r u okay? but whats bothering u. cos if u noice sumthing isnt rite, it most probabbly isnt.

starry starry nite!

staring out the pitch black sky, only stars shine back at me. blinking its pure diamond-like light onto the quiet neighbourhood. i sumtimes think bout u n noe that im the last thing on ur mind.

i wonder if anyone sees thru my mask that deceives everyone on how happy i really am. im fine is d most common lie told, im guilty of using this line so many times when im not.

sum1 else has came into my life, keeping my mind off alot of things. i love the way he treats me but im cautious with matters of d heart these days, cos i dont wanna b at d losing end again.

wel.. just letting out random thoughts. good nite world. :)

outta my system

Damn, I mean, I just keep thinkin' about you
I mean, I wanna move on but I can?t move on
It?s like you got some kinda hold on me and, man I don?t know
But I'ma go ahead and talk about it, listen

I'm sittin' lookin' out the window like damn
Tryna fix this situation that's at hand
You're still runnin' through my mind
When I'm knowin' that you shouldn't be
Me all on your mind and I'm knowin' that it couldn't be

'Cause you ain't called and I ain't even appalled
I still got a lotta pain, I ain't dealt wit it all
I been runnin' 'round with other chicks, I'm single and they lovin' it
I'm likin' it but I just want the one that I was in love with

That's not the end of it, I'm tryna let you go
I can't get a grip of it is what I'm tryna let you know
You got a hold or some kinda control of me
I don't know what it is but I gotta get you gone from me

I?m workin' at it and it ain't gettin' no better
Just tryna be like, yeah, forget it, whatever
Instead of starin' out this glass, lookin' at this bad weather
Damn, I gotta pull myself together 'cause

When I?m with somebody, all I think 'bout is you
When I?m all alone, that?s all I wanna do
I miss the smilin' faces in my Sidekick, outta town visits
All the time we spent together
Makes it hard to get you outta my system

And you know what you do to me, do to me
You don?t even understand, damn
And you know what you do to me, do to me
It?s so hard to get you outta my system

I?m too attached, my heart won?t let me fall back
I got it bad, that?s what you can call that
And when I see you in the streets, that?s the worse for me
Used to love the little things you did, that?s what works for me

It?s too major, don?t see you in my pager
Know what you doin', where you at or can I see you later?
The fellas tellin' me, ?Just let her go, Bow?
Believe me, I?m tryin', man, I just don?t know how

I be in all the top spots, leavin' with the hot shots
Knowin' they just want me 'cause I?m in the top spot
That?s not poppin' and my brain ain't stoppin'
Thinkin' who she with or where she goin', is she club hoppin'?

I never had this kind of problem in my life
This is my first time dealin' with this kind of fight
It?s every night and every flight and every time you in my sight
Damn, this ain't even right 'cause

When I?m with somebody, all I think 'bout is you
When I?m all alone, that?s all I wanna do
I miss the smilin' faces in my Sidekick, outta town visits
All the time we spent together
Makes it hard to get you outta my system

And you know what you do to me, do to me
You don?t even understand, damn
And you know what you do to me, do to me
It?s so hard to get you outta my system

Is it wrong for me to feel this way?
You been runnin' through my mind all day, can you feel me?
I been tryna get you off my mind
But I can't after all this time, that?s what kills me

Is it wrong for me to feel this way?
You been runnin' through my mind all day, can you feel me?
I been tryna get you off my mind
But I can't after all this time and it kills me

When I?m with somebody, all I think 'bout is you
When I?m all alone, that?s all I wanna do
I miss the smilin' faces in my Sidekick, outta town visits
All the time we spent together
Makes it hard to get you outta my system

And you know what you do to me, do to me
You don?t even understand, damn
And you know what you do to me, do to me
It?s so hard to get you outta my system

I remember everything that me and you talked about
Me and you had our whole life planned out together
And if I could, I would turn back the hands of time
And correct all my mistakes that I ever did

But now I guess I gotta move on, right?
It?s still hard and I still love you to this day
Peace

-outta my system by bow wow!

love this song. :)

hates the short attention span.

n no its not me, its how guys hav super short attention span when dating girls. no kidding. its goes great in d begining. n dies down without warning. next thing u noe, ur wondering if u r even in a r/s to start with. its so bloody annoying.

why cant guys not get bored wit dating 1 girl for a long period of time? anyway screw it. im not gonna wast emy breath thinking bout what should n should not be done. im sticking with being single. r/s r overated anyway. ;P

trial balances r meant to balance, so y doesnt mine?

yea, accounts is boring me to tears n yet its so frustrating cos it doesnt balance or add up. how can such a dull subject be so complicated???? ishh....................

moving on, life's been pretty good to me. am loving the weather these few days, hopefully it stays this good cos i cant wait for spring to come.... :) am a summer person so spring is my 2nd fav season.

had a massive update on songs from roger a few days ago, n i hav yet listen to all of them but i do like quite a few from claude kelly, n no he isnt gay tho he sings sum songs from a girls point of view. he's a song writer n a rathe rgood one may i add. lyrics-wise.

wel.. im suppose to be doing my accounst so i should getback to that. nites peeps. :)

no fuss,no complicated stuff.

altho i din say half d things that i wanted to in my head, but its okay cos we need not explain ourselves as that wont change the end result. i hope we'l be great friends n i hope u'll be the best that u can be, not for anyone else but for urself... to exceed that expectations of others that have dubbed upon u. i noe ur r capable of alot of great accomplishments if u could be bothered to give it ur all. im glad ur busy with ur work as it shows that u care bout studies. :) hope to c u around.

n im always here for a chat/hug! :D