BOXing day!

volunteering in teh orphanage was pretty hectic, esp during meal times. but in d end of the day it was worth all teh sweat to see those smiles on these kids's faces. :) it feels good giving back to the community. giving these kids a festive meal to remember. staying up to watch soccer tonight, supposrt of course my fav soccer team, MANCHESTER UNITED! :D against Chelsea! cant wait to see M.U kick ass! woo.. off now. merry 2nd day of xmas/ Boxing day peeps! :)

on another note,

finally read ur blog earlier, it was all good til i came upon

'Like when i was trying to figure out how to end my relationship,
It took so long i almost went crazy in the process'

and thats when i realised it actually hurt to read that. that i've been such a fool to think that u felt d same as i did for u once upon a time. it shouldnt hurt, it shouldnt affect me now, after all this time, but it does n i dont know why. i dont wanna know the reason cos that would force me to face the truth that i've been denying.

i rather leave it, i was better off not knowing that i was a fool to believe that u could actually come anywhere close to how i felt for u.

one more hour til i turn 19. :)

i feel old all of a sudden, but then who doesnt on every birthday. looking at my sisters graduation pictures just reminds how quickly 2 years hav went went by n i was just like that 2 yrs ago.

looking at the transition form then to now, im surprised at how far i've come. never thought i'll be here today at where i am, thousands of miles away from home, enjoying life in a different land. as i look back at my friends from high school in different paths. i remember all the dreams n predictions we had. how i always wanted to be like my friends, to hang til late at nite n go out whenever i want. looking back then, i wasnt matured enough to handle that kind of freedom to start with. n i appreciate that i din go wild n rebel against what i wanted cos from all the predictions n dreams, mine was d only one that came true.

i never regreted all that i wnet thru,as i take it as experiences that contributed to my growth. who i am today, is someone i never thought i could be 2 yrs ago. i owe heaps to my friends that change me for d better. :) but i stil hav so much more to learn n grow. no matter how old i get, i can always improve to be a better person. thats something i truly believe in.

i guess i better study now, only a week be4 my finals start. *gasp* panic mode hits me now.

xoxo,grace

Torn

Decisions... Trust.... N conscience. Factors that play around my mind to make up my mind. My obedient self is saying no but my fun loving heart says no one has to Noe. I'm torn between wats right n wat I want. Decision... Decisions.... Decisions. We face them everyday with the choices we make affecting our tomorrows in one way or another. I hope I'll make the right one in d end.

wish upon a star

'star shine, star bright, make my wish come true tonight.'

a prayer i used to wished on every night when i was a little girl.

and even when i knew that wishes on a star doesn't come true, i kept wishing anyway.

Thinking faith would keep my wish alive.

it was a way of directing my fantasy of a perfect world in my head... to find hope and peace in a world that fails to provide such security to every individual.

Stars were always my favourite sign.

of course when i was 5 i didn't know that each star was a flaming planets millions and billions light years away.

i always though it was a beautiful natural phenomenal that complemented the moon.

While everyone admired on how lovely the full moon looked,

I would be paying attention to the stars n

thinking to myself ' look at how pretty the stars make the moon shine'

insecurities.

i sometimes dream and wonder if u'll ever love me like u loved her.

this is me with insecurities bursting out a thought.

i know i shouldnt be thinking bout it, cos ur with me now.

but i still see past picstures of how happy u 2 looked.

i know i have plenty of my own but why do i feel like i'll never be as good.

that u'll never feel the connection u had,

i keep thinking maybe we finally had this connection or was it just me?

u gave me one of d best sleepovers i ever had,

just talking n cuddling u made me happy.

i honestly feel like maybe there is a something more to this.

but whenever i have confidence in us,

insecurities kicks in.

leaving me wondering if there was anything more than a spark in d 1st place.

fader-the temper trap

I'm in transit
But I'm stranded on this boat
And I pledge myself allegiance
To a better night's sleep at home

And the sweet, sweet sun's comin' down
Hard, the sun's comin' down
Hard, it burns the bones
So hold a hand for cover
Hold a hand for cover
Hold a hand for cover from harm

Talk don't change a thing
Oh, it's fadin' for ya
Words don't sink, they swims
Oh, it's fadin' for ya

Best
This mess we tried our best
For something we can do
While the angels walk with the lonely ones
In the cold rain and rescue you

And this fatal world's comin' down
Hard, walls comin' down
Hard, in all our homes
So hold a hand for cover
Hold a hand for cover
Hold a hand for cover from harm

Talk don't change a thing
Oh, it's fadin' for ya
Words don't sink, they swims
Oh, it's fadin' for ya


Talk don't change a thing
Oh, it's fadin' for ya
[I'm in transit]
Words don't sink, they swims
[Ah, sweet as a moment, be that it may]
Oh, it's fadin' for ya

talk dont change a thing..

ever had?

just got home from d city, damn trains. i got lost at central twice just getting there n back. central needs CLEARER signs! no kidding. wasted at least 2 hrs trying to get back to west ryde station. n i was traveling alone with no sense of direction. :( but at least im home now. :)

lots of love n hugs,

graceee.... :)

its so easy to say im alrite, to plaster on a smile n moveon with life. but no one knows wats beyond the smile, the 'im okay's' n 'im fine'. just because i look fine on d outside doesnt mean that every day im facing doesnt hurt. i hav my own battles, everyone does, mine's just burried deep down, like way down as it always has been.

im happy with life dun get me wrong, im not all depress n shit, just letting out sum expression to ease d frustration. sometimes we should take time to look past one's smile n not just ask r u okay? but whats bothering u. cos if u noice sumthing isnt rite, it most probabbly isnt.

starry starry nite!

staring out the pitch black sky, only stars shine back at me. blinking its pure diamond-like light onto the quiet neighbourhood. i sumtimes think bout u n noe that im the last thing on ur mind.

i wonder if anyone sees thru my mask that deceives everyone on how happy i really am. im fine is d most common lie told, im guilty of using this line so many times when im not.

sum1 else has came into my life, keeping my mind off alot of things. i love the way he treats me but im cautious with matters of d heart these days, cos i dont wanna b at d losing end again.

wel.. just letting out random thoughts. good nite world. :)

outta my system

Damn, I mean, I just keep thinkin' about you
I mean, I wanna move on but I can?t move on
It?s like you got some kinda hold on me and, man I don?t know
But I'ma go ahead and talk about it, listen

I'm sittin' lookin' out the window like damn
Tryna fix this situation that's at hand
You're still runnin' through my mind
When I'm knowin' that you shouldn't be
Me all on your mind and I'm knowin' that it couldn't be

'Cause you ain't called and I ain't even appalled
I still got a lotta pain, I ain't dealt wit it all
I been runnin' 'round with other chicks, I'm single and they lovin' it
I'm likin' it but I just want the one that I was in love with

That's not the end of it, I'm tryna let you go
I can't get a grip of it is what I'm tryna let you know
You got a hold or some kinda control of me
I don't know what it is but I gotta get you gone from me

I?m workin' at it and it ain't gettin' no better
Just tryna be like, yeah, forget it, whatever
Instead of starin' out this glass, lookin' at this bad weather
Damn, I gotta pull myself together 'cause

When I?m with somebody, all I think 'bout is you
When I?m all alone, that?s all I wanna do
I miss the smilin' faces in my Sidekick, outta town visits
All the time we spent together
Makes it hard to get you outta my system

And you know what you do to me, do to me
You don?t even understand, damn
And you know what you do to me, do to me
It?s so hard to get you outta my system

I?m too attached, my heart won?t let me fall back
I got it bad, that?s what you can call that
And when I see you in the streets, that?s the worse for me
Used to love the little things you did, that?s what works for me

It?s too major, don?t see you in my pager
Know what you doin', where you at or can I see you later?
The fellas tellin' me, ?Just let her go, Bow?
Believe me, I?m tryin', man, I just don?t know how

I be in all the top spots, leavin' with the hot shots
Knowin' they just want me 'cause I?m in the top spot
That?s not poppin' and my brain ain't stoppin'
Thinkin' who she with or where she goin', is she club hoppin'?

I never had this kind of problem in my life
This is my first time dealin' with this kind of fight
It?s every night and every flight and every time you in my sight
Damn, this ain't even right 'cause

When I?m with somebody, all I think 'bout is you
When I?m all alone, that?s all I wanna do
I miss the smilin' faces in my Sidekick, outta town visits
All the time we spent together
Makes it hard to get you outta my system

And you know what you do to me, do to me
You don?t even understand, damn
And you know what you do to me, do to me
It?s so hard to get you outta my system

Is it wrong for me to feel this way?
You been runnin' through my mind all day, can you feel me?
I been tryna get you off my mind
But I can't after all this time, that?s what kills me

Is it wrong for me to feel this way?
You been runnin' through my mind all day, can you feel me?
I been tryna get you off my mind
But I can't after all this time and it kills me

When I?m with somebody, all I think 'bout is you
When I?m all alone, that?s all I wanna do
I miss the smilin' faces in my Sidekick, outta town visits
All the time we spent together
Makes it hard to get you outta my system

And you know what you do to me, do to me
You don?t even understand, damn
And you know what you do to me, do to me
It?s so hard to get you outta my system

I remember everything that me and you talked about
Me and you had our whole life planned out together
And if I could, I would turn back the hands of time
And correct all my mistakes that I ever did

But now I guess I gotta move on, right?
It?s still hard and I still love you to this day
Peace

-outta my system by bow wow!

love this song. :)

hates the short attention span.

n no its not me, its how guys hav super short attention span when dating girls. no kidding. its goes great in d begining. n dies down without warning. next thing u noe, ur wondering if u r even in a r/s to start with. its so bloody annoying.

why cant guys not get bored wit dating 1 girl for a long period of time? anyway screw it. im not gonna wast emy breath thinking bout what should n should not be done. im sticking with being single. r/s r overated anyway. ;P

trial balances r meant to balance, so y doesnt mine?

yea, accounts is boring me to tears n yet its so frustrating cos it doesnt balance or add up. how can such a dull subject be so complicated???? ishh....................

moving on, life's been pretty good to me. am loving the weather these few days, hopefully it stays this good cos i cant wait for spring to come.... :) am a summer person so spring is my 2nd fav season.

had a massive update on songs from roger a few days ago, n i hav yet listen to all of them but i do like quite a few from claude kelly, n no he isnt gay tho he sings sum songs from a girls point of view. he's a song writer n a rathe rgood one may i add. lyrics-wise.

wel.. im suppose to be doing my accounst so i should getback to that. nites peeps. :)

no fuss,no complicated stuff.

altho i din say half d things that i wanted to in my head, but its okay cos we need not explain ourselves as that wont change the end result. i hope we'l be great friends n i hope u'll be the best that u can be, not for anyone else but for urself... to exceed that expectations of others that have dubbed upon u. i noe ur r capable of alot of great accomplishments if u could be bothered to give it ur all. im glad ur busy with ur work as it shows that u care bout studies. :) hope to c u around.

n im always here for a chat/hug! :D

3 months

never thought we'll be 2gtehr this long but eventho we did, part of us died on d way of getting here.
i miss u so much at times but i noe u dont. n it kills me to noe that u never will. but i will be okay, u may never noe this but u were my sunshine, n u really did make me smile for awhile.. once upon a time.

i loved u n now i've losts u... im losing grip on what we had... n i cant find it back. its okay, i guess we were never meant to be.. but i wish u ntg but d best, n even if everyone has their back agaisnt u, i will be here for u. no but's, no exception's, cos thats just kindda person i am. u can stand under my umbrella. :)

random thought!

was reading sum older posts n i realise how often i updated d blog when i 1st got here. how whne i din had any friends n spend my fridays n sats in. how i bloged cos i was bored outta my mind.



looking at things now, its so different from a few months ago. im almost never home on fri n sat nights these days, n im only back after midnight when im out.







i use to worry bout not fitting in, bout if i will ever make any friends n turns out i was worrying for ntg cos i did make friends that made life so much more fun. that made uni so much more bearable. :)







i remember d random web cam moments when i used to chat with my sister n she would tel me how everything was back home,how i was always sad after those webcam sessions cos i feel like i was losing touch with everything i was familiar with.. losing grip on everything i knew so wel..







it worries me less now, cos i realise starting over isnt that hard after all.. learning everything from d scratch again can be frustrating but u get to be familiar with new things.. with new ppl.. in a new environment.







now that uni is back on,the workload has given me less time to worry bout myself n more attention to my grades that i need to pull up after the average grades i got last sem. i noe i can do better n i should hav done better. but i din, so im determined to do better this sem.







its a pretty dull post peeps but im just ranting anyway. :)




the current hairstyle. :) yeshh... im a redhead! x) wel.. brownish with a tinge of red. hehe...

a shot of me n shev at a zouk club in kl. :) 1 of d best nites ever.....<3>

nites n peace out y'all! :)

Xx...

dont let me stop u.

randomly i felt like this songs just expresses how i feel.

I used to be a little bit shy
I kept my deepest feelings inside
Speaking up to you about my
Emotions has always been hard
But this just can't wait
Tonight I feel a little bit brave
So I won't let one more day pass without you
Explaining what we are

This is gonna sound kind of silly
But I couldn't help but notice
The last time you kissed me
You kept both eyes opened
Baby can you tell me what does that mean?
If you're looking over your shoulder
Then you don't need to be with me
And I don't need to hold on

Don't let me stop you
From doing what you want to do
You don't wanna stick, trust me it's cool
Take no chance get over you
No no, don't let me stop you
If you wanna leave baby you can leave
Just don't pretend that you're into me
If it ain't true, no
Don't let me stop you

A lot of things I can take
Got a high thresh hold for pain
But let's get one thing straight
I'm not down to share you with anyone
If that's not what you're looking for
Nice knowing you but there's the door
Cause I know that I can find someone
Who'll give me what I want

This is gonna sound kind of silly
If you're looking over your shoulder
Then you don't need to be with me
And I don't need to hold on

Don't let me stop you
From doing what you want to do
You don't wanna stick, trust me it's cool
Take no chance, get over you
No no, don't let me stop you
If you wanna leave baby you can leave
Just don't pretend that you're into me
If it ain't true, no
Don't let me stop you

Even if I end up broken hearted
I won't lie
I don't wanna hear goodbye
But either way I'll be alright

Don't let me stop you
From doing what you want to do
You don't wanna stick, trust me it's cool
Take no chance, get over you
No no, don't let me stop you
If you wanna leave baby you can leave
Just don't pretend that you're into me
If it ain't true, no
Don't let me stop you

Don't let me stop you
From doing what you want to do
You don't wanna stick, trust me it's cool
Take no chance, get over you
No no, don't let me stop you
If you wanna leave baby you can leave
Just don't pretend that you're into me
If it ain't true, no
Don't let me stop you

dont let me stop u by kelly clarkson

u make me an option.

Being with u is like a slow motion accident,

u know its happening u just dont know when....

i hate how i do this to myself,

i should walk away but i cant let u go.

its so dysfunctional that i feel pathetic being so weak...

what happened to the independent girl that used to walk away from being compromised.

the girl that never took 2nd place, who was cautious when it came to matters of her heart.

where did that side of me went?

when i need it the most, i became sum1 i dont even noe.

1234 tell me that u love me more.

a few months ago if i was in d same position, i would have gladly walked away from this. Unfortunately right now, I'm giving myself reasons to stay,secretly wishing it'll work out when d walls r crumbling down. what changed over these few months? i don't Noe, i guess i liked u more than i thought i would.

i fail in playing mind games n i fell even though not hard but i did started to fall for u, which i don't wish to regret. somehow I'm getting fed up, fed up of feeling like an option when Ur my priority. there isn't a reason why u should be my priority if Ur gonna treat me like an option.

a friend told me that if u cant be sure or even be d least bit determined that u''ll still be around after 3 weeks, then Ur not worth d love I'm capable of giving. I'm hanging on by a thread, show me Ur determine to change, that this time its different as u claim n I'll stick around cos i am on d verge of walking out of this, out of u.

if Ur bored of me like how u usually are with Ur previous experiences then I'm here to say that I'm not like Ur previous experiences, i might look lost a lot n like a kid but i will walk if i think Ur just gonna waste my time n treat me like an old toy. show me that this time its different, i told u i dun care bout Ur past, or what u did, i love u for who u r with all Ur faults n flaws. i love u n i hope u still feel the same about me. < /3<>

my day as a tourist!

2day was pretty awesome! :D joe,greta,abi n heather brought me along d opera hse, botanical garden n guess wat we walked across d whole harbour bridge! :D n we went to Luna park as well n got a ferry back to circular quay, quite an achievement for 1 day! :) n d weather was nice n sunny so that's even better, i just wished De boyfriend was there but it was still a great day all d same!

here comes d longggggg line of pics! :D u can tell i had fun!







































































lots of hugs n kisses! < 3grace